{"id":9851,"date":"2024-01-08T23:37:18","date_gmt":"2024-01-08T23:37:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/connectaemploi.com\/plataforme\/?p=9851"},"modified":"2024-01-23T14:30:05","modified_gmt":"2024-01-23T14:30:05","slug":"mico-e-o-animal-preferido-dos-imigrantes-e-se-for-com-uma-breuvage-entao","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/connectaemploi.com\/plataforme\/es\/mico-e-o-animal-preferido-dos-imigrantes-e-se-for-com-uma-breuvage-entao\/","title":{"rendered":"Mico, o animal de estima\u00e7\u00e3o do imigrante – Breuvage no A&W"},"content":{"rendered":"

Desenho de autoria de Claudio Moura (contact@claudiomoura.com<\/a>)<\/span><\/p>\n

Mico \u00e9 o animal dom\u00e9stico preferido dos imigrantes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fui \u201cmagasiner\u201d pelo shopping e logo a fome bateu e com ela a inseguran\u00e7a: PQP, como vou fazer um pedido se mal sei murmurar \u201coui\u201d e \u201cnon?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Mas sou imigrante brasileiro, n\u00e3o desisto \u201cjamais\u201d e pensei positivo comigo mesmo:<\/span><\/p>\n

– Voc\u00ea \u00e9 \u201ccapable\u201d! Basta pedir pelo n\u00famero, abestado!\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

Partiu \u201cA&W\u201d, mas n\u00e3o sem antes parar na \u201csalle de bain\u201d pra verificar se a \u201cbobette\u201d tava em dia e pra memorizar uma frase-padr\u00e3o na hora de fazer o pedido. Parti confiante.<\/span><\/p>\n

Chagando l\u00e1, me vi diante da recepcionista com a cara da Dona Benta. N\u00e3o hesitei e soltei a frase num franc\u00eas que at\u00e9 um jegue moco do interior do Congo entenderia:<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u201cBonjour, Madame. Je voudrais le num\u00e9ro 1, s\u2019il vous plait!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

– “Ok, Monsieur\u201d, e come\u00e7ou a digitar o pedido.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

– \u201cEt pour breuvage, Monsieur?\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Aquela pergunta n\u00e3o veio do c\u00e9u…n\u00e3o podia…a sensa\u00e7\u00e3o foi a mesma de tomar um escorreg\u00e3o no \u201cverglas\u201d e ter a certeza que dali sairia direto pro \u201cCHUL\u201d ou pro \u201ccerceuil\u201d (com a bandeira do flamengo em cima, claro).<\/span><\/p>\n

A \u201cfine\u201d senhora, agora transformada numa mistura da Anabelle com o sorriso repuxado da Gretchen, esperava a minha resposta com as m\u00e3os enfiadas num \u201ctablier\u201d vermelho.<\/span><\/p>\n

Meu instinto de sobreviv\u00eancia se encarregou de produzir uma frase de defesa:<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u201cPardon, Madame. Je n’ai pas bien compris!\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Zapt, zupt, zimp. Retransformada em Dona Benta a recepcionista repetiu, ou melhor, soletrou calmamente:<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u201cE t\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 p o u r\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 b r e u v a g e,\u00a0\u00a0 M o n s i e u r\u00a0\u00a0 ???\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h5>\n

Minhas pernas n\u00e3o respondiam ao que minha cabe\u00e7a mandava fazer: corrrrrraaaa.<\/span><\/p>\n

A am\u00e1vel \u201cMadame\u201d vendo meu desespero e antevendo a vergonha iminente que um avassalador tsunami de “marde” provocaria, piedosa, fez com a m\u00e3o o sinal universal de algu\u00e9m bebendo algo, e repetiu:<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u201cE t\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 p o u r\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 b o i r e,\u00a0 M o n s i e u r\u00a0\u00a0 ???\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

—————<\/span><\/p>\n

E voc\u00ea, j\u00e1 passou por algum\u00a0mico de imigrante?\u00a0Conte pra gente. Prometemos manter o anonimato.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Desenho de autoria de Claudio Moura (contact@claudiomoura.com) Mico \u00e9 o animal dom\u00e9stico preferido dos imigrantes. Fui \u201cmagasiner\u201d pelo shopping e logo a fome bateu e com ela a inseguran\u00e7a: PQP, como vou fazer um pedido se mal sei murmurar \u201coui\u201d e \u201cnon?\u201d Mas sou imigrante brasileiro, n\u00e3o desisto \u201cjamais\u201d e pensei positivo comigo mesmo: – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":41,"featured_media":9929,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[201,208,203],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-expressoes","category-frances","category-micos-de-imigrante"],"yoast_head":"\nMico, o animal de estima\u00e7\u00e3o do imigrante - Breuvage no A&W - Connecta Emploi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mico, o animal de estima\u00e7\u00e3o do imigrante - Breuvage no A&W - Connecta Emploi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Desenho de autoria de Claudio Moura (contact@claudiomoura.com) Mico \u00e9 o animal dom\u00e9stico preferido dos imigrantes. 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